Ichigo's Issue
by Bleachy-nii
Summary: Ichigo's dad confronts him, thinking he has, an issue. Rukia hears from inside her closet. Poor Ichigo has to explain what it means.


**Title – Ichigo's Issue**

**Disclaimer – Hm… still don't own anything. **

**One shot! Hey thanks to everyone who read my other bleach story, and to take a break I am writing just a little one shot. Something I did in class…. I was real bored. **

_knock! knock!_

"Come in!" Ichigo's rushed muffled voice was heard.

Ichigo's door was opened and in walked Ishiin Kurosaki looking at his son standing by the closet door, "Hey, son. I want to talk to you." He said looking curiously at his son and walked over to his bed sitting down and patted the spot next to him.

"What is it?" Ichigo asked taking the spot farthest away from his crazy father.

"Well, your sisters and I have noticed that you spend an awful lot of time in your room."

"Yeah… and?" Ichigo didn't like where this was going.

"Well your sisters are pretty oblivious to what you're doing, but I think I know." Ishiin had that smirk again, Ichigo really didn't like where this was going, "Now I know it's normal for a young man your age to experiment but… lately I've been hearing voices in your room" His grin was growing.

So was the blush on Ichigo's face, "Must by the radio… or my computer." He was pulling on his collar from nervousness.

"Now, now Ichigo. It's okay, I know what you're doing. And that's okay after all a boy your age should experiment with the female cave!"

Oh god… Ichigo nearly died hearing the words spoken from his father's mouth. Not only is it bad enough that his dad and sisters think he's up here all day masturbating, but now because of voices they think he's sneaking girls in his room. The horror of it all….

"Dad… I don't know what you are thinking but trust me I'm not-" But his words were lost as Ishiin continued to talk.

"Now as long as you continue to sneak girls into your room you have to abide by my rules, that means using condoms!" Ichigo's eyes nearly bulged out when his father pulled out a handful of condoms. There was a huge variety, some were flavored, some were glow in the dark, some were just plain colored, and some were regular. "If you make me a grandfather so early I'll give you a hysterectomy myself!" Ishiin threatened grabbing Ichigo's collar for emphasis. Ichigo gulped and nodded.

The older Kurosaki smiled and patted Ichigo's knee and stood up to leave Ichigo's room and turned around at the door, "Remember Ichigo it's fun and all debouching girls but once you plant your see it's all downhill!" His father left a very red faced Ichigo on his bed.

"Ichigo?" A voice said from his closet once the door to his room was shut.

God…. Rukia, she heard everything! He truly felt as though he would die on this very spot. But that wouldn't work; she'd just send his soul back to Soul Society and ask him there.

He watched silently as the small shinigami stepped out of his closet and walked to his bed picking up on of the packages on his bed, "Ichigo what are these?" She asked him holding up a glow in the dark condom.

He didn't answer, he couldn't he seemed to have lost his voice.

"Oh! Their condoms!" Kon yelled jumping on Ichigo's bed next to Rukia who was sitting on his bed examining the brightly colored wrapped rubbers.

"What are condoms?" Rukia asked oblivious to human trinkets.

"Humans use these so they won't get the girls pregnant!" Kon said proudly smiling, "I've been reading Ichigo's manga."

Ichigo's eyes bulged out once again. Damn! He knew he should have given those back to Keigo!

"Ohh," Rukia said looking at the package, "How does it work?" If it was possible Ichigo's cheeks got redder.

"That's simple, you slip it on over a man's meat before putt-" He was cut off by Ichigo's hand swatting him away across the room.

Ichigo turned around to face Rukia but regretted it almost immediately. The said shinigami was unwrapping a yellow condom and plopped it in her mouth sticking her tongue through the center.

"Mmmmm…. Banana!! YUM!" She smiled happily.

Ichigo's face hit the floor near Kon; he was no longer conscious.

The End 


End file.
